Saturday, 28 May 2016

DAY6

Saturday May 28th 2016                                                            

Kings Lynn to Kingston Upon Hull                                     Miles 160

Today nothing happened, or at least very little.  After a very interesting tour of Kings Lynn, Jim’s now home town, we crossed into Lincolnshire and nothing happened!

Jim took me to the old town of Kings Lynn, which is absolutely lovely, especially by the Minster.  Unfortunately we did not have time to go in.  If we had done I am sure that we would have been there two hours at least as I do love exploring English churches and Cathedrals.  So much history.  By the way I do hope that they have noticed that the right hand side appears to be leaning.  Perhaps just as well we did not go in!


The Minster, Kings Lynn

Taking the attached photo proved slightly challenging as for what reason I do not know, other than he might have wanted to be in a photo, a man drove his car right in front of the Minster and began to polish it!  Perhaps he was a chauffer you might think, but probably not as he was in shorts and smoking heavily.  He rubbed it all over and then drove off. Bizarre. 

We then went to see the statute of Captain Vancouver who was born in this city.  There is an interesting statue of him on the Quay, however it is not as big as I would have expected for the founder of such a great city (indeed two cities) that are named after him.  I think that Vancouver City Council should pay for a much bigger monument to him as a token of friendship with Kings Lynn.  It certainly would be cheaper and less self-indulgent than bike lanes!

Capt. Vancouver
We then crossed over the River Ouse and into Lincolnshire, by the unfortunately named village of Clenchwarton.  Lincolnshire is the produce garden of England and according to Jim produces one third of all the vegetables eaten in the UK.  Indeed Lincolnshire is especially known for growing potatoes.  This therefore means that there must be lots of fields – there are.  Fields are either ploughed waiting for the potatoes to sprout, or, covered with hundreds of miles of white plastic mesh to keep the birds off.  It also means that Lincolnshire is full of agricultural machinery, which when they travel on the roads results in slow, slow traffic.  They are expected to pull over after one mile to let traffic that has built up, go past.  This they do.  However, they have created such a gap in the traffic that as the first cars get past the first tractor a second tractor is waiting up the road, which of course is clear enough for him to pull out.  The cars released from the first tractor then catch up with and build up behind the second tractor and then behind the third, fourth and fifth and so on, right across Lincolnshire!  We were fortunate as today was a Saturday of a Bank Holiday weekend so most farmers had taken the weekend off – apart from two.

We stopped at Gedney Marshes as Jim had been told that you had a good view of The Wash from here.  We wended our way down a very narrow lane that ran alongside a navigation channel.  Interestingly they have here a big sign asking drivers to switch off their headlights if a ship is coming along the channel.  I expect that either they don’t want to dazzle the ship’s master, or the lights might be mistaken for navigation lights. However, I’m not sure what the poor car driver is expected to do if he has to drive next to a waterway at night with no lights.

We drove a few miles down this lane, got to the end and walked to the high bank above what we thought was the Wash, but, when we got there the ocean was not to be seen.  There was just a large expanse of nothing!  Grass and mud stretching as far as we could see.  Jim was very disappointed.  We hardly saw  the ocean at any time we were in Lincolnshire.  We were either in roadways lower than the banking built to hold back the ocean, or the ocean was many miles away across the mud fields.  Good for growing more potatoes no doubt.  So basically we saw nothing, because there is nothing to see.  One benefit of all of this though is that we stood still and also could hear nothing.  Silence, broken only now and then by bird song.  That in itself made the nothingness of Lincolnshire worthwhile.

Nothing In Lincolnshire

May Blossom on the Levels
Our next destination was Skegness.  Those of you who have read “The Road to Little Dribbling” will have seen the Jolly Sailor on the front cover of the book.  He is now the symbol of Skegness (or Skeggy as the locals call it).  He was once part of an advertising campaign to encourage people to come to Skegness.  The line for the advert was “Skegness is so Bracing”.  This is a nice way of saying it is windy and cold!  Our first stop in the town was Morrisons Supermarket.  Boy oh boy, I don’t think I have ever seen so many people wearing football shirts and track-suits gathered in one place since the World Cup finals.  And the Car Park wow, there was certainly a lot of car park rage going on.  We grabbed a salad (yes, honest we did) and fled as quick as we could.  We then drove to Gibraltar Point a bird watching area on a promontory to the south of the town.  This had a good viewing point but you certainly needed binoculars, not only to see the birds but also the sea!  The best thing all day happened here, there was a murmuration of starlings; a moving ballet in the sky.  What makes them do it I don’t know, but it is beautiful to watch.  The Point and the road leading to it is clearly the up-market part of Skegness with nice homes facing onto the golf course.

We eventually went into Skeggy town, which was true to its word – bracing.  There is the obligatory pier, some nice sand, but in the far, far, far distance, across the mud banks, possibly was the elusive sea.  Few people were on the beach, but the chip shops looked full.  Paul Theroux in his book, written in the 1980s, talked about the Mods (scooter riders) and Rockers (motorcyclists) who would meet at a seaside resort on a Bank Holiday, get drunk and then build up to a big fight on the Monday.  Well de ja vue, or the wheel has turned full circle.  There were groups of scooter riders and motorcyclists sitting outside the pubs and amusement arcades.  All seemed quiet when we saw them, but we were glad we came here on a Saturday and would be somewhere else on Bank Holiday Monday, the traditional day for a rumble!  We did notice a disability scooter on sale at a “Kiss Me Quick” hat and souvenir shop.  No doubt the owner thought he might have a good chance of selling it to an elderly Mod who wanted to remember his youth and join in the fun.

Driving on from here along the coast, eighteen miles to Mablethorpe, I swear that every mile of the road had caravan and chalet parks with the largest being a Butlins Holiday Camp and a nearby Fantasy World. 

We then took the main road to Cleethorpes and Grimsby, thirty miles of not being able to see the ocean, only flat fields and of course caravan and chalet parks.  At Cleethorpes we at last did get to see the sea, (or it might actually have been the River Humber) but it was perhaps a mile away.  The beach by the esplanade had good sand on it, then it became mud for about a mile out to where the water was.  We brewed a cup of tea on the Esplanade and looked across to Spurn Head the starboard entrance to the River Humber.  Just before Cleethorpes we spotted a public information sign that said “There are dangers associated with drowning”.  Duh - who wrote this?  The PC police no doubt, or a lawyer working for Cleethorpes Council.  Perhaps we should advise them that it might be more appropriate to say the dangers are associated with swimming.  By the time of drowning it is probably too late!  (Yes I know it is not only in England that people put up dumb signs). 

Cleethorpes is the holiday end of Grimsby, once one of England’s biggest fishing fleets.  Sadly no longer.  They say the fishing industry was killed by the EU, perhaps after the Brexit vote next month, it may come back again.  No doubt the “Vote Leave” campaigners in Grimsby are expecting this.  There is still a Fish Dock in Grimsby, but all we could see were cold stores and closed buildings, no sign of any fishing fleet (that we could see).

Our journey then took us along the Humber Estuary to the Humber Bridge and our crossing into Yorkshire.  Tonight we are staying at the Ibis Hotel in Kingston Upon Hull.  Clean and pleasant, but this being a Bank Holiday weekend meant that our preferred option of small B&Bs by the sea was not possible.  The only rooms were in hotels in city centres where people did not want to spend their holiday weekend.
I tried AirBnB once more.  Hopeless.

Tomorrow we head up the Yorkshire coast to the resorts of Bridlington, Scarborough and Whitby.  Hopefully, the sea will be in when we get there!

A Lincolnshire Hare


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